A Father’s Weakness

This morning, my daughter broke down and bawled in my arms.

She hugged me harder than anyone ever has, as her tears soaked my shirt.  I asked her what was wrong and she replied, “I don’t know.  I’m not unhappy or anything.”  Confused, she let out a tear-muffled laugh.  She doesn’t know that her body is storing up hormones that will make her nuts.  She doesn’t know that she is growing up right before my eyes and that I am scared to death.

I squeezed her in my arms as if I was holding on for dear life.  My wife came in to see what was up.  I waived her off, not wanting to share this moment when my daughter needed her dad’s shoulder to soak up her tears.  It probably won’t be my last chance, but I couldn’t let her go.

My heart breaks because, no matter how hard we try, we will never be able to stop bad things from happening to those we love….and unsolicited hormone rushes in pre-teen girls are awful.  I felt helpless and needed all at the same time.  I felt like Holden Caulfield, trying to erase all the f–k you’s in the world…to no avail.

I have 3 older sisters, so I am KEENLY aware of how nutty teenage girls can be.  But, I don’t remember Amy being that crazy when she was 9.  I guess I was too busy killing invading aliens on my Atari to notice.   I notice now, and it really sucks.

I think I am lucky to be a guy.  Sure, some of my sisters’ attributes have rubbed off on me: I know who Laura Ashley is, I know not to wear seersucker after Labor Day, and I know how to braid hair, but I am very thankful that their hormones never rubbed off on me.

Y’all have it bad.

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About mcbud

I am extremely happily married, I have two great kids, I am the hand of the king at a Registered Investment Advisory company, I am addicted to CrossFit, and I try to write.
This entry was posted in Daughter, growing up and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to A Father’s Weakness

  1. Neal says:

    Awesome post, McBud. It is a cruel time, and I’m about to go through it big time with my daughters. It breaks my heart to see them growing up so fast. I know I have to let go, but I want to hold on to them forever.

  2. Julia says:

    What an AMAZING post. Am going to share this one with Chief. We’re going thru this mess with 10 year old right now, middle school age is a crazy, mixed-up time, and (whew!) They grow up WAY too fast, but how awesome is it to watch these babies becoming young women, beginning to think for themselves and REALLY contributing to the family dynamic?! LOVE being a parent! 🙂 Thanks for inspiring me today, McBud!
    Julia

  3. Andy says:

    As one of the three sisters, I cannot tell you how very, very afraid I am of Emmeline’s teenage years. Take notes for me–I’m going to need them.

  4. Amy says:

    As another of the 3 sisters, I don’t remember going through the crazy hormone stuff….at least not as bad as I’m seeing 2 out of 3 of my daughters going through it. At least I’ll get a little break before #3 starts getting nutty! Good luck!

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